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I refer to the report, “ ” (Nov 28). When I was growing up, my mother disciplined me by caning me, and my father did so by shouting loudly and taking away my phone. These days, I hear of children getting locked in their rooms, slapped, scolded in public, and verbally abused with swear words. Physical punishment may influence behaviour in the short term. However, it may lead to other consequences such as the child displaying aggressiveness, bullying other children, fearing his parents or having low self-confidence. Punishments do not have to be only physical – punishments like withholding allowances also work. They signal that bad behaviour will be punished, and deter the child from behaving badly again. Some disagreements at home should be worked out only after the anger dissipates. In the heat of the moment, or under the influence of alcohol or other stressors, a confrontation can turn violent. Families should build a culture of trust, openness and respect, so that they are better able to deal with failures and disappointment. Parents have a right to discipline their child, but they must make sure the punishment is appropriate, and does not worsen the situation. Any type of discipline does more harm than good when it strains the relationship between parents and children, or causes humiliation, or even trauma, to either party.