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Reading Dr Sandeep Jauhar’s article about caring for his father, and the dilemma of telling the truth or to lie to him, brought to mind my family’s experience in caring for my mother ( , April 11). My mother has been struggling with dementia for close to 10 years. There are two camps in the family, with differing ideas on how to answer her absurd comments. The truth camp tells it as it is, and very often the discussion stops with my mother feeling dejected or confused. The other camp does not dismiss the “absurd” topic, takes the discussion further, asking questions, just to help her exercise her brain. Sometimes, it can lead to something interesting and not-so-absurd after all. Once, my mother claimed to have just bought a bicycle and parked it “downstairs”. We probed further and asked about the cost, the colour, the location of the bicycle shop and how the bicycle was locked. All answers were apparently right if it was 70 years ago. If we had not probed, we would not have found out that my mother owned a bicycle in her youth. There have been several other instances where our probing led us to many parts of her life we had not known about. I therefore urge those who have dementia patients at home to have more patience, and sometimes, they may discover nuggets of treasure.